The Trap of Planning: A Childhood Obsession

I spent most of my childhood planning. I wanted to save the world. Whenever I got interested in a new thing, I made it a Solution for saving the world. This got to the point where I was coming up with a new Master Plan every two days or so, and logging in my progress, strategy, and research onto a Google doc which now reaches nearly 2 million words. ¹

I had a social life, but it was confined to school: the instant I got back home it was write write write think research plan. My meta- Master Plan then was to divide my life into Eras: Era 1 is the planning phase (childhood), Era 2 is the acting/saving the world phase and Era 3 is glorious retirement as Hero of Humanity phase.

The biggest mistake in my entire life thus far was this division into 3 parts. "Era 1" is a myth. A trap. A rationalization. It ruined years of life I could have spent doing things, being human, existing. Instead, I was locked up in an obsession for strategy, shiny new things, imagined social validation. ² I'm not sure how much I endorse this test, but it's at the very least interesting

I will not make this mistake again. Ever. I will burn any distance between me and Doing Things as I can. I will destroy anything which drags me further away from reality. I will unmake every atom of the word that is structured in a way that is not Unabashedly Good.

My kids will not make the same mistake, either.

This is what mainly motivates me.